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How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

by David Brooks

Attention as a practice of connection

Regular price $21.84 USD
Regular price $36.40 USD Sale price $21.84 USD
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Paperback New English

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Print BookAvailable Hardcover $28.03 USD$46.72 USD
Print BookCurrently viewing Paperback $21.84 USD$36.40 USD
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Awards & Recognition

  • Bestseller

    New York Times bestseller

  • Editorial selection

    GatesNotes Summer Reading Pick

    Selected as a GatesNotes Summer Reading Pick.

  • Critical praise

    Bill Gates calls it a “must-read”

    Bill Gates calls the book a must-read and praises it as a blueprint for more connected and humane living.

AlbakiReads Editorial

Attention as a practice of connection

David Brooks examines how people come to feel seen, heard, and understood, organizing the subject around the attention we give others, the conversations we have, and the stories in their lives. Drawing on psychology and neuroscience alongside theater, philosophy, history, and education, he offers an approach to knowing others that connects everyday relationships with wider questions about social fragmentation and misunderstanding. The book presents deep attention not simply as noticing another person, but as a way of recognizing their significance—and considering how that recognition can shape our own view of ourselves.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Readers interested in practical approaches to understanding others and building closer connections.
  • Those curious about how psychology, neuroscience, and the humanities can inform relationships.
  • Readers exploring the effects of misunderstanding and social fragmentation.

Themes

Seeing and understanding othersConversation and attentionHuman connectionSocial fragmentation and misunderstanding

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person and fostering deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives--from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

As David Brooks observes, "There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen--to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood."

And yet all around are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing essential questions: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person's story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them and, in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
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