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How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

by David Brooks

The practice of seeing one another

Regular price $28.03 USD
Regular price $46.72 USD Sale price $28.03 USD
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Hardcover New English

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Awards & Recognition

  • Bestseller

    New York Times bestseller

  • Critical praise

    Praise from Bill Gates in GatesNotes

    Bill Gates praises the book as a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living and calls it a must-read.

AlbakiReads Editorial

The practice of seeing one another

David Brooks examines how attention, conversation, and curiosity can help people understand one another more fully. Drawing on psychology and neuroscience alongside theater, philosophy, history, and education, he organizes the subject around practical questions: what to notice in another person, how to talk with them, and how their life story shapes who they are. The book links these everyday encounters to relationships at home and work, as well as to wider social divisions rooted in misunderstanding. Its central concern is mutual recognition: learning to see others clearly and helping them feel heard and valued.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • For readers interested in practical approaches to deeper personal and workplace connections.
  • For readers exploring how attention and conversation shape understanding between people.
  • For readers interested in the social effects of fragmentation and misperception.

Themes

Human connectionAttention and listeningConversationMutual understandingSocial fragmentation

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person and fostering deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives--from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

As David Brooks observes, "There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen--to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood."

And yet all around are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing essential questions: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person's story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them and, in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
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