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Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (a Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't)

by Carolyn Elliott

Working with the shadow behind repeating patterns

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Paperback New English

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AlbakiReads Editorial

Working with the shadow behind repeating patterns

Carolyn Elliott’s guide frames unwanted recurring patterns as connected to disowned parts of the self, which she calls “existential kink.” It presents a self-inquiry method centered on noticing the unconscious pleasure that may accompany painful or limiting situations, then approaching those impulses with acceptance and integration. Practical advice and meditations shape the book’s approach to shadow work and personal change. Its central premise is that recognizing these hidden desires can help people understand their patterns and access a stronger sense of agency. The book’s language and framework are the author’s; it presents a particular approach to self-understanding rather than a general clinical guide.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Adults interested in shadow work and self-inquiry
  • Readers exploring recurring relationship or self-worth patterns
  • Those looking for guided meditations alongside personal-development ideas

Themes

Shadow workUnconscious desireRepeating patternsSelf-acceptancePersonal agency

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

A smart, sexy guide to embracing the repressed, tabooed, and often unwanted aspects of ourselves so we can discover our inner power and finally live the life we deserve.

"We always get exactly what we want; but often, though we may not be aware of it, what we most want is dark--very dark."

Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality--the "other," the shadow side--is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses--our "existential kink." Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we're undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power.

In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott, PhD, offers a truth-telling guide for bringing our shadow into the light. Inviting us to make conscious the unconscious, Elliott asks us to own the subconscious pleasure we get from the stuck, painful patterns of our existence.

Existential Kink provides practical advice and meditations so we truly see our shadow side's "guilty pleasures," love and accept them, and integrate them into our whole being. By doing so, Elliott shows, we bring to life the raw, hot, glorious power we all have to get what we really want in our lives.

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