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When We're Born We Forget Everything: A Memoir

by Alicia Jo Rabins

A personal search for meaning across Jewish tradition and modern identity

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Awards & Recognition

  • Critical praise

    Praise from Reza Aslan

    Direct praise describing the memoir as a scripture for the searching heart and praising its spiritual writing.

AlbakiReads Editorial

A personal search for meaning across Jewish tradition and modern identity

Alicia Jo Rabins traces a path from a secular Jewish upbringing toward a more ritual-centered engagement with Judaism, beginning with study in Jerusalem and continuing through music, relationships, and motherhood. Alongside these episodes, she brings forward lesser-known stories of biblical women, connecting inherited texts with questions of queer identity, feminism, and spiritual practice. The memoir’s account of seeking the sacred in ordinary life also acknowledges the beauty and danger the author associates with mysticism, keeping its exploration of faith tied to lived experience and changing understandings of belonging.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Readers interested in memoirs about Jewish practice, heritage, and spiritual searching
  • Readers drawn to accounts of queer identity and feminist readings of biblical women
  • Readers interested in the intersections of music, relationships, and motherhood

Themes

Jewish tradition and spiritual practiceQueer identity and feminist interpretationLineage and belongingMotherhood and everyday meaning

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Book overview

From the creator of the internationally acclaimed singer-songwriter project Girls in Trouble, a memoir following her journey from a secular Jewish childhood to becoming a modern queer woman owning ancient teachings and finding her own meanings in them, refracted through feminist interpretations of the lives of Biblical women.

"Alicia Jo Rabins writes as if she's in conversation with the divine itself. . . .This isn't merely a book to be read--it's a scripture for the searching heart, a reminder that the border between the human and the holy is, and always has been, porous."
--Reza Aslan, author of Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth


As a self-described '90s suburban high school weirdo, Alicia Jo Rabins spent her time practicing violin and smoking cigarettes behind the mall while secretly dreaming of setting out on a spiritual quest no one around her seemed to understand. She often found herself drawn to the more ritualistic and rigorous Judaism that her parents had abandoned to assimilate and "become American." In college, a chance meeting led her on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to study rabbinical texts (and play bluegrass fiddle on the street for cash). But that two years of immersing herself in traditional observance was only the start of a journey full of twists and turns.

When We're Born We Forget Everything follows Alicia's relentless, often embarrassing, sometimes enlightening search for the sacred in everyday life as she tours America playing with a klezmer-punk band, falls in and out of love, scrapes through the initiations of motherhood, and witnesses the beauty--and danger--of mysticism. Rabins braids this personal narrative with the hidden stories of biblical women, uncovering a path of queer identity, feminist awakening, and spiritual self-invention. This lyrical, searching memoir is a meditation on longing, lineage, and what it takes to find meaning in a fractured world.
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