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Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

by Esther Perel

Desire and security in long-term relationships

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AlbakiReads Editorial

Desire and security in long-term relationships

Esther Perel examines the tension between the security couples seek in lasting love and the freedom and passion associated with desire. Drawing on clinical experience, the book considers why affection and intimacy do not always sustain erotic connection, including how becoming parents can affect a couple’s sex life. Its questions frame desire as a subject to explore within committed relationships, not simply a natural by-product of closeness. This twentieth-anniversary edition adds a preface in which Perel describes the book’s personal origins and reflects on cultural changes since its original publication.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Adults interested in intimacy and sexuality within long-term relationships
  • Couples or individuals curious about the relationship between security, freedom, and desire
  • Readers interested in a psychotherapist’s perspective on erotic connection

Themes

Desire and domesticityIntimacy in long-term relationshipsFreedom and securityParenthood and erotic connection

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

With a New Preface by the Author

"The world's best-known relationship expert."- The New York Times

"Makes fewer promises and raises thornier questions than any other how-to-improve-your-relationship book. . . which is exactly why you should read this one." --ELLE

A special twentieth-anniversary edition of the internationally bestselling and culturally groundbreaking book that cemented Esther Perel as the iconic relationship psychotherapist for today.

In the twenty years since Mating in Captivity was published in 2006, it has become a global phenomenon, as has its author, Esther Perel. As a psychotherapist and thought leader, Perel is widely considered one of the world's most original and respected voices on erotic intelligence.

Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Mating in Captivity examines the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit for freedom and passion. It illuminates the complexities of sustaining desire in long-term relationships and shows how more playful, adventurous, and even poetic sex is possible. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is practical, Perel's bold and provocative take on intimacy is ever more relevant today, asking:

 

  • Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever? Why doesn't good intimacy guarantee good sex?
  • Can we want what we already have?
  • Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster?

 

In a new preface, Perel reveals the personal origin story behind the book and reflects upon the many cultural shifts since its publication. This twentieth-anniversary edition invites us to reconsider the timeless paradoxical union of domesticity and desire--and offers a guide to bringing lust home.

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