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I'll Tell You When I'm Home: A Memoir

by Hala Alyan

Motherhood, memory, and the stories of home

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AlbakiReads Editorial

Motherhood, memory, and the stories of home

Hala Alyan’s memoir places the decision to use a surrogate alongside questions of family inheritance, personal history, and displacement. As she faces strain in her marriage and the possible return of past trauma and addiction, she turns to stories carried across generations—from family journeys through Palestine and several Arab countries to the myths and memories that shape her own childhood and adolescence. Beirut, where she spent part of her youth, is on the brink of crisis. The book’s structure connects the baby’s growth during pregnancy with Alyan’s gathering and reconsideration of the stories she might pass on, linking the intimate experience of seeking parenthood to the wider histories of family and homeland.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Readers interested in memoirs about fertility, surrogacy, and the pursuit of parenthood.
  • Readers drawn to family histories connected to Palestine, Lebanon, and other Arab countries.
  • Readers interested in how migration and displacement shape identity and ideas of home.

Themes

Motherhood and fertilityFamily stories and inheritanceDisplacement and homelandTrauma and recoveryIdentity and belonging

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

After a decade of yearning for parenthood, years marked by miscarriage after miscarriage, Hala Alyan makes the decision to use a surrogate. In this charged time, she turns to the archetype of the waiting woman-the Scheherazade who tells stories to ensure another dawn-to confront her own narratives of motherhood, love, and inheritance.

 

As her baby grows in the body of another woman, in another country, Hala finds her own life unraveling-a husband who wants to leave; the cost of past traumas and addictions threatening to resurface; the city of her youth, Beirut, on the brink of crisis. She turns to family stories and communal myths: of grandmothers mapping their lives through Palestine, Kuwait, Syria, Lebanon; of eradicated villages and invading armies; of places of refuge that proved only temporary; of men that left and women that stayed; of the contradictions of her own Midwestern childhood, and adolescence in various Arab cities.

 

Meanwhile, as the baby grows from the size of a poppyseed to a grain of rice, then a lime, and beyond, Hala gathers the stories that are her legacy, setting down the ones that confine, holding close those that liberate. It is emotionally charged, painstaking work, but now the stakes are higher: how to honor ancestors and future generations alike in the midst of displacement? How to impart love for those who are no longer here, for places one can no longer touch?

 

A stunningly lyrical and brutally honest quest for motherhood, selfhood, and peoplehood, I'll Tell You When I'm Home is a powerful story of unraveling and becoming, of destruction and redemption, and of homelands lost and recreated.
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