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Drink Water and Mind Your Business: A Black Woman's Guide to Unlearning the Bs and Healing Your Self-Esteem

by Donna Oriowo

Self-esteem beyond service to others

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AlbakiReads Editorial

Self-esteem beyond service to others

Donna Oriowo frames self-esteem as something shaped by social expectations, with particular attention to how Black women are encouraged to measure their worth through care and service to others. The book introduces the foundations of self-esteem and considers how society influences it, then connects that discussion to practical areas such as setting boundaries, prioritizing personal needs, and recognizing one’s worth. Its perspective links individual confidence with the wider systems and assumptions that shape it, while emphasizing pleasure and joy as part of a life beyond constant obligation.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Black women interested in self-esteem through a social and cultural lens
  • Readers seeking guidance on boundaries and prioritizing their own needs
  • Readers interested in personal growth informed by sex and relationship therapy

Themes

Self-esteemBlack women and social expectationsBoundaries and self-prioritizationPersonal worth, pleasure, and joy

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

Self-esteem ain't self-taught--and it does see color.

Let's be real: society was not built with the needs of Black women in mind. And as a result, we learn that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to prioritize everyone else's needs over our own. We find our value in being the perfect partner, mother, daughter, employee, and friend. But that is exhausting. Instead of feeling good about how dope we are--regardless of our service, bank account, or looks--we only feel good about what we do for others.

Supremacy culture teaches us to hate Black people, to hate women, and to especially hate Black women... except when they need us to either save them or serve them. So in a world where our service is required for acceptance, how could we ever feel good about ourselves while also giving the middle finger to systems of power? How can we possibly live our best lives? How are we supposed to feel confident, secure, and fabulous AF in our bodies?

The answer: Self-esteem. Self-esteem as we know it has been gatekept by the white and male supremacist delusions for far too long. It's time to put power where it actually belongs.

In Drink Water and Mind Your Business, Dr. Donna Oriowo helps readers understand the basic foundations of self-esteem--what it is, how society molds it, and how it affects us all--and offers real, meaningful solutions to feel like the most glorious and badass versions of themselves. Based on years of research and Dr. Donna's career as a licensed sex and relationship therapist, this book will help you set boundaries, prioritize your needs, understand your immense worth, and pursue a life that brings you pleasure and joy.

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