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The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

by Harriet Lerner

Anger as a guide to relationship patterns

Regular price $17.10 USD
Regular price $28.51 USD Sale price $17.10 USD
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Paperback New English

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Awards & Recognition

  • Bestseller

    New York Times bestseller

    Described in the supplied metadata as a New York Times bestseller.

AlbakiReads Editorial

Anger as a guide to relationship patterns

Harriet Lerner frames anger as a signal that can help identify where change is needed in intimate relationships. The guide examines recurring conflict patterns, including the pursuer–distancer dynamic, and connects them with communication habits, family-of-origin issues, and personal boundaries. Its practical emphasis is on expressing needs clearly, avoiding blame or self-silencing, and recognizing how unresolved family dynamics can shape present-day relationships. The book presents anger not simply as an emotion to suppress or discharge, but as information to consider when working toward change.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Adults interested in understanding recurring conflict in intimate relationships.
  • Readers seeking guidance on communicating anger and needs more constructively.
  • Those exploring how family-of-origin dynamics and boundaries affect current relationships.

Themes

Anger and self-understandingIntimate relationship patternsCommunication and boundariesFamily dynamics

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Book overview

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships and personal growth.

Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel--and certainly our anger is no exception.

"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change with clear communication skills.

For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

For decades, this groundbreaking guide to emotional intelligence has provided the essential tools to build stronger relationships and stop destructive cycles:

  • Relationship Patterns: Understand and change the circular dances that keep you stuck, including the common pursuer-distancer dynamic that creates conflict in couples.
  • Effective Communication: Learn to express your anger and needs clearly and constructively, without blaming others or silencing yourself.
  • Family Dynamics: Get to the root of unresolved issues with your family of origin so they stop fueling conflicts in your current relationships.
  • Setting Boundaries: Reclaim your sense of self by learning to say "no" to unfair circumstances and stop the "de-selfing" that leads to resentment.
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