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The Second Family: Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence -- And Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens

by Ron Taffel

A framework for understanding peer culture’s role in adolescence

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Paperback New English

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AlbakiReads Editorial

A framework for understanding peer culture’s role in adolescence

Ron Taffel examines adolescence through the idea of a “second family”: the powerful social world formed by peers and popular culture alongside home and school. Drawing on interviews with young people and adults, the book addresses secrecy, lying, early sexual activity, drugs and alcohol as pressures and realities described within teen groups. It also gives space to forms of friendship and mutual care that the author sees within those same networks, including emotional support, cross-gender friendships, and youth leadership. The book frames parenting teens as an effort to understand the social codes and loyalties shaping daily life beyond adult supervision.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Parents and caregivers of teens or preteens
  • Adults seeking a discussion of peer influence and pop culture in adolescence
  • Educators and family professionals interested in teen social dynamics

Themes

Peer influenceAdolescent social lifeParentingPop cultureFriendship and support

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

If you have a teen or pre-teen, you recognize the phenomenon already-perhaps without even knowing it has a name. "The second family," as uncompromisingly described by renowned therapist Dr. Ron Taffel is the immense collective power of the peer group and pop culture-a force so pervasive, it threatens to, and often succeeds in, overwhelming the first family of adults at home and in school. Derived from thousands of interviews with kids and adults, The Second Family uses real-life, sometimes graphic examples to bare the truth about the world of adolescence today and to illuminate the new set of rules by which kids operate.

The second family can be scary to adults. While many parents bury their heads, insisting "not my child," Taffel reveals that even "good" children:
- Chronically lie without a trace of guilt
- Have sex at astonishingly early ages
- Do drugs and alcohol not to be bad but simply because they are there

Yet there are healthy aspects to the second family that often go unrecognized:
- A secret moral code of peer support that will surprise you
- Boys and girls as best friends
- Boys taking care of friends in emotional need
- Girls becoming powerful group leaders
- A social structure for teens that provides a type of intimacy, support, communication and honesty he or she can't find anywhere else.

It is impossible to understand today's teens or preteens without understanding the Second Family. Taffel opens a window into a closed world of frightening dangers and equally uplifting possibilities.

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