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Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood

by Jessica Grose

Motherhood beyond the ideal

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Paperback New English

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AlbakiReads Editorial

Motherhood beyond the ideal

Jessica Grose combines personal experience with historical, scientific, and contemporary reporting to examine how expectations of American mothers have developed over two centuries. Chapters address pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the Covid-19 pandemic, connecting those subjects to the pressures parents face. The book questions the idea that parenting can be reduced to a reliable formula and emphasizes observing children as individuals, while considering how parents’ values shape family life. Its focus is both the history behind today’s standards and the possibility of moving toward expectations that are more sustainable for mothers and their communities.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Mothers interested in examining the expectations placed on parenting and family life.
  • Readers seeking reporting that connects motherhood with work, identity, social media, and history.
  • Those interested in a mix of personal experience and broader discussion of American parenting.

Themes

Cultural expectations of motherhoodParenting and individual valuesWork, identity, and family lifeSocial media and parentingThe effects of the Covid-19 pandemic on parents

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Book overview

"If this book feels like it's sounding the alarm on the state of American motherhood, well, that's because it is." -- San Francisco Chronicle

In this timely and necessary book, New York Times opinion writer Jessica Grose dismantles two hundred years of unrealistic parenting expectations and empowers today's mothers to make choices that actually serve themselves, their children, and their communities

Close your eyes and picture the perfect mother. She is usually blonde and thin. Her roots are never showing and she installed that gleaming kitchen backsplash herself (watch her TikTok for DIY tips). She seamlessly melds work, wellness and home; and during the depths of the pandemic, she also ran remote school and woke up at 5 a.m. to meditate.

You may read this and think it's bananas; you have probably internalized much of it.

Journalist Jessica Grose sure had. After she failed to meet every one of her own expectations for her first pregnancy, she devoted her career to revealing how morally bankrupt so many of these ideas and pressures are. Now, in Screaming on the Inside, Grose weaves together her personal journey with scientific, historical, and contemporary reporting to be the voice for American parents she wishes she'd had a decade ago.

The truth is that parenting cannot follow a recipe; there's no foolproof set of rules that will result in a perfectly adjusted child. Every parent has different values, and we will have different ideas about how to pass those values along to our children. What successful parenting has in common, regardless of culture or community, is close observation of the kind of unique humans our children are. In thoughtful and revelatory chapters about pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the crisis of the Covid-19 pandemic, Grose explains how we got to this moment, why the current state of expectations on mothers is wholly unsustainable, and how we can move towards something better.

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