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How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

by Zachary Auburn

A mock-safety manual for cats

Regular price $13.98 USD
Regular price $23.30 USD Sale price $13.98 USD
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Paperback New English

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AlbakiReads Editorial

A mock-safety manual for cats

Zachary Auburn turns the language of parental warnings and civic preparedness into a comic Q&A handbook addressed to cat owners. Its subjects—firearms, abstinence, drugs, online predators, satanism, and survival after an apocalypse—are framed as hazards facing cats, making the gap between familiar safety advice and feline life the central joke. The parody also draws on patriotic rhetoric, presenting ordinary conversations with pets as matters of national urgency. At 144 pages, the book’s question-and-answer structure gives its string of deliberately alarming topics a guidebook shape.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Adults who enjoy parody and humor
  • Readers interested in satire of safety messaging and patriotic rhetoric

Themes

Parody of safety advicePatriotic rhetoricHuman anxieties projected onto pets

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

The cats of America are under siege!

Long gone are the good old days when a cat's biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.

For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, "What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?" and "What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?" and especially "Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can't he just play with yarn like cats used to do?"

Our country--and our cats--stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats--and America--great again!
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