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How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

by Jancee Dunn

A post-baby marriage, examined through chores and conflict

Regular price $17.71 USD
Regular price $29.52 USD Sale price $17.71 USD
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Paperback New English

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Awards & Recognition

  • Editorial selection

    Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year

    Named Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year.

AlbakiReads Editorial

A post-baby marriage, examined through chores and conflict

Jancee Dunn starts with a domestic imbalance—she and her husband work equal hours, yet she finds herself carrying most of the household chores—and uses it to examine how a baby can reshape a marriage. The book combines personal experience with relationship research and advice gathered from couples’ and sex therapists, fellow parents, and an FBI hostage negotiator. It also considers how inherited family patterns and traditions can complicate life for overloaded parents. Part memoir and part self-help, it centers on recognizing recurring disagreements, addressing larger issues, and finding ways for partners to work together as they adjust to parenting.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Parents interested in how a new baby can affect a couple’s relationship
  • Readers seeking relationship guidance framed through personal experience and research
  • Expectant parents considering the practical and relational changes parenthood can bring

Themes

Postpartum relationship strainDivision of household laborConflict resolutionFamily patterns and traditionsMarriage and parenting

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, featuring life-changing, real-world advice.

"Preserve the greatest gift you will ever give your baby: a loving relationship between the baby's parents" --John Gottman, clinical psychologist and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper?

Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage--and the way their marriage will affect their child.

Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate--and rebuild--your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children.

Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.

Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in Slate
Featured in People Picks
A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year
One of Mother magazine's favorite parenting books of the year
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