Home › Animals › A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever

A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever

by Matt Kracht

A comic field guide with an avian grudge

Regular price $15.21 USD
Regular price $25.35 USD Sale price $15.21 USD
Save 40%

Paperback New English

Delivery to your door
In stock·Dispatches in 1–2 business days
Standard shipping* from $4.35
Standard shipping transit* 5–8 business days after dispatch

Faster options are available.

Rates and delivery estimates depend on your destination and item quantity. Estimates are informational only; the final shipping method and rate are selected at checkout.

Secure checkout
American Express Apple Pay DiscoverGoogle Pay Mastercard PayPalVisa
30-day eligible returns Returns & refunds policy

Awards & Recognition

  • Bestseller

    USA Today Bestseller

    The source describes this book as a USA Today bestseller.

AlbakiReads Editorial

A comic field guide with an avian grudge

Matt Kracht turns the field-guide format into a running comic case against birds, pairing irreverent descriptions of 50 species with full-color illustrations. Entries mix identification details—such as calls, markings, and migration patterns—with the author’s deliberately insulting judgments, while maps and notes on classification add recognizable guidebook elements. The book’s humor comes from the contrast between its organizing framework and its openly hostile commentary: it catalogs birds in detail while treating them as nuisances. The result is an illustrated humor book that borrows the language of birding for a knowingly exaggerated takedown.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Birdwatchers and nature enthusiasts who enjoy irreverent humor about wildlife
  • Bird lovers open to profanity and affectionate mockery of their hobby
  • People interested in illustrated humor books or bird-themed conversation pieces

Themes

Birds and birdwatchingParody of field guidesAnimal humorIdentification and classification

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

A USA Today Bestseller
As seen on The Today Show!

Professional birding amateur and national bestselling author Matt Kracht has had it with these goddamn birds. His new book is a warning, a field guide to help you identify and stay away from the absolute worst birds ever to plague planet Earth. Featuring an all-new scientific scale devised by the author that proves how awful birds really are.

We can all agree--birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up.

Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why with furious (but actually quite lovely) full-color drawings. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such as:

  • The absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone)
  • The utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher)
  • The outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker)
  • And many more

Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . .

LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this illustrated handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and--let's face it--true.

BESTSELLING AUTHOR: Matt Kracht is the author of the bestselling Field Guide to Dumb Birds series, including The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World, and The Big Dumb Bird Journal, and (in a startling turn of enthusiasm) OMFG, BEES!

ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This uproarious guide to all things wings includes migratory maps, tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.

TRULY THE WORST BIRDS---A MUST-HAVE GUIDE: Even if you're familiar with the winged disasters from Matt's previous guidebook/warnings, buckle up. From the introduction:
"Birds are TERRIBLE. I have spent years, YEARS, of my life studying birds. Watching them. Analyzing their behaviors. Determining their 'contributions' to the world. I am an expert, so believe me when I tell you this: Birds are horrible people. And the birds included in THIS book are, by far, the worst of the lot. Of all the shit-eating birds that I've had the misfortune to catalog over the course of my career as a scientist and professional bird critic, THESE birds take the absolute SHIT-CAKE!"

GREAT GIFT FOR BIRD LOVERS: Pair with The Field Guide to Dumb Birds Sticker Book to create the perfect present for full-on bird experts and amateur birders alike.

Perfect for:
  • Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts
  • People who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh)
  • Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starter
  • Gift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover
Shipping & returnsShipping options, delivery timing, and our return policy.

In-stock items normally dispatch within 1–2 business days. The ZIP-code estimator on this page is informational only; the final shipping method, price, and availability are confirmed at checkout for your full order.

For the initial delivery estimate we use these transit windows after dispatch: Standard 5–8 business days, Expedited 2–4 business days, and Priority 1–2 business days. Holiday delays are not included.

Eligible items can be returned within 30 days in accordance with our return policy.

Customer reviews