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Do Ask, Do Tell: Queer Life, Love and Culture Laid Bare

by Lotte Jeffs

A broad-ranging guide to queer life and culture

Regular price $23.90 USD
Regular price $39.84 USD Sale price $23.90 USD
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Hardcover New English

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Awards & Recognition

  • Critical praise

    Praise from Suzi Ruffell

    Suzi Ruffell praises the book as empathetic, understanding, humorous, and important to the queer community and i...

AlbakiReads Editorial

A broad-ranging guide to queer life and culture

Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley organize the book around questions that touch on identity, relationships, community, and culture. Its subjects range from terms such as “aromantic” and “trans euphoria” to queer religious life, ageing, nightlife, open relationships, drag, and camp. The authors acknowledge that individual experience offers only one perspective, framing the discussion as an exploration rather than a single account of queer life. That question-led scope makes the book a resource for approaching topics that can feel unfamiliar, while keeping the conversation open to varied experiences across the queer community.

Good fit for readers who enjoy

  • Queer readers interested in a wide-ranging discussion of identity, relationships, and community.
  • Straight and cis readers seeking an introduction to queer terminology and culture.
  • Readers interested in subjects including queer ageing, religion, nightlife, and gender.

Themes

Queer identity and languageRelationships and communityQueer culture and nightlifeAgeing and religion

Based on publisher information and book metadata.

Book overview

'Bursting with empathy, understanding and humour. A crucial book for our community and allies.' Suzi Ruffell

What is a black cat lesbian? Is 'aromantic' a sexuality or a preference? How are bisexual and pansexual different? What's it like to be queer and religious? Does Gen Z do darkrooms? How do you navigate life as a OAQ (Old Age Queer)? What does trans euphoria feel like? Why is nightlife so central to the community? What is camp today?

As queer people themselves, authors Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley knew they didn't have all the answers, because their individual experience represents a single pixel of the rainbow. Do Ask, Do Tell is an unapologetically curious journey through the dazzling spectrum of queer life that will give people - queer, straight, cis and everything in-between - the confidence to say 'I don't know'.

With humor, warmth, and radically open minds, Stu and Lotte tackle the questions you may have avoided asking for fear of getting it wrong. Covering everything from ageing to open relationships, darkrooms to Drag Kings, camp to carabinas, as well as the intricacies of gender and sexuality.

This insightful and provocative exploration challenges assumptions, shatters taboos, and opens up the conversation. Whether you're seeking clarity for your cis straight self or deeper insight as a member of the community, this book is your guide to better understanding and celebrating the richness of queer life.

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